Blasphemy

   A couple of questions has cropped up and bugged me over the years concerning a particular topic that is said to be sacred to so many people. Some of these questions, most of you have though of but lack the courage to ask. Does this line of inquiry tag me a blasphemer? Is my path to hell a surety because of the audacity of my probing? Am talking about God and religion here, Christianity in particular. A lot of people that's going to read this post would definitely frown at my line of thoughts and questions my reasoning, am prepared for that eventuality and i care less what you think about me afterward because these questions bother me and science has given me substantial proof as to the origin of the world at large. Before i ask my question i would like to give a brief history on Christianity and its origin.    
CHRISTIANITY:       

  Christianity is derived from the Ancient Greek word, Kristos, "Christ", which means the anointed one. Christianity began as a Jewish sect in the eastern Mediterranean in the mid-1st century. Its earliest development took place under the leadership of the Twelve Apostles, particularly Peter and Paul the Apostle, followed by the early bishops, whom Christians considered the successors of the Apostles.  According to the scriptures, Christians were from the beginning subject to persecution by some Jewish religious authorities, who disagreed with the apostles teachings. This involved punishments and death. Larger-scale persecutions followed at the hands of the authorities of the Roman Empire, first in the year 64, when Emperor Nero blamed them for the Great Fire of Rome. According to Church tradition, it was under Nero's persecution that early Church leaders Peter and Paul of Tarsus were each martyred in Rome. Further widespread persecutions of the Church occurred under nine subsequent Roman emperors.  From the year 150, Christian teachers began to produce theological and apologetic works aimed at defending the faith. These authors are known as the Church Fathers, and study of them is called Patristic. State persecution ceased in the 4th century, when Constantine I issued an edict of toleration in 313. On 27 February 380, Emperor Theodosius I enacted a law establishing Christianity as the official religion of the Roman Empire. From at least the 4th century, Christianity has played a prominent role in the shaping of Western civilization.

JESUS CHRIST:

    The central tenet of Christianity is the belief in Jesus as the Son of God and the Messiah. The title "Messiah" comes from the Hebrew word meaning Anointed one. The Greek translation Christos is the source of the English word "Christ". Christians believe that Jesus, as the Messiah, was anointed by God as savior of humanity, and hold that Jesus coming was the fulfillment of messianic prophecies of the Old Testament. The Christian concept of the Messiah differs significantly from the contemporary Jewish concept. The core Christian belief is that through belief in and acceptance of the death and resurrection of Jesus, sinful humans can be reconciled to God and thereby are offered salvation and the promise of eternal life. While there have been many theological disputes over the nature of Jesus over the earliest centuries of Christian history, Christians generally believe that Jesus is God incarnate and "true God and true man" (or both fully divine and fully human). Jesus, having become fully human, suffered the pains and temptations of a mortal man, but did not sin. As fully God, he rose to life again. According to the Bible, "God raised him from the dead, he ascended to heaven, is "seated at the right hand of the Father and will ultimately return to fulfill the rest of Messianic prophecy such as the Resurrection of the dead, the Last Judgment and final establishment of the Kingdom of God.

GOD:

  God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions (and other belief systems) who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. God is most often conceived of as the supernatural creator and overseer of the universe. Theologians have ascribed a variety of attributes to the many different conceptions of God. The most common among these include omniscience (infinite knowledge), omnipotence (unlimited power), omnipresence (present everywhere), omni benevolence (perfect goodness), divine simplicity, and eternal and necessary existence. God has also been conceived as being incorporeal (immaterial), a personal being, the source of all moral obligation, and the greatest conceivable existent.

My Questions:

    I have given you a very brief history on the origin of Christianity and have described Jesus and the lord God to the best of my knowledge, so here are my questions; If God was omniscience and omnipresence wouldn't he have foreseen the betrayal of Lucifer? If God was omnipotent why didn't he just kill Lucifer when he eventually found out about his betrayal? Or was Lucifer more or less his equal and couldn't be killed and could only be banished because there just cant be two captains on a ship? Because i can remember reading in the bible that a great war was fought in the heavens before Lucifer could be banished. Or has God in his failure to do away with him made Lucifer his equal? Just like how lord Voldermot marked harry potter his equal in the fictitious novel Harry potter by J.K Rowling. If God was Omni benevolence why would he banish Lucifer to the one place where he was going to create man in his own image? If he was Omni benevolent why would he destroy the world, his own creation ? Or is he admitting to have made a mistake in our creation? If  we were created in his own image and likeness, is it  safe to assume that God has weakness too? And if God knew we had these weaknesses, why banish Lucifer to earth to taint us when he couldn't even have him in heaven with him? Why wasn't he banished to probably mars or Jupiter if God was being merciful? Or is this some kind of joke or game God is playing on mankind? If God was all knowing and he knew our weakness then what was the apple tree doing in the Garden of Eden if he knew there was a remote chance that Eve would be tempted? He has given us free will right? Why must i believe in Blind faith when he has given me the freedom to ask and make my decisions? And doesn't this free will extend to me asking these questions or am i blaspheming? Or is the bible really a tool for binding mankind? Because i know for sure that a lot of atrocities and evil would have been perpetuated if not the bible. Is Christianity the only true religion? If it is, did those that existed before Christianity was formed go to hell? Because I know Christianity wasn’t the first religion. Are other people practicing other religions destined for hell? Because in truth all religions preach similar gospel. Israel of then and the present day Israel are not Christians, in fact they do not believe in Christ yet God has tagged them his children and has promised to never forsake them, why is this so if you claim Christianity is the only path to heaven when the original children of God are not even Christians? If I live a pure and good life where I don’t commit any sin but don’t attend the church or am not a Christian, do I go to heaven or hell? Why was hell created? When was hell created? Was it before the creation of man or after? Because if it was before the creation of man then God obviously knew we were going to commit sins even before he created us, so why didn’t he do something about it? If hell was created after our creation then are we to assume that God realized his mistakes and decided to create hell as a form of punishment for sinners? If that’s the case are we to assume that God aint perfect after all and can make mistakes? Or are we to assume that our life is a game to amuse God? A game that can be likened to the famous snake and ladder game where if you mistakenly fall at the mouth of  the snake you  descend [Hell] and if your fortunate enough to land at the foot of a ladder you ascend [Heaven]? Is God an Egocentric? All these questions i ask not because i question the higher authority but because i want to know and understand. So the question i ask is this; does God exist? Will i ever feel his presence? Is our life just by chance or it has been dictated by God? Is there a power tussle between God and Lucifer? Or are we pieces in a board game between to superior beings to push around and amuse themselves with? Another issue that worries me is this, Jesus was almost dehumanized in the new testament, don't get me wrong, Jesus Christ showed compassion, pity and love but i don't remember  seeing anywhere that Jesus smiled or laughed. The new testament is supposed to be about the life of Christ but it never covered his personal life, why? Or maybe am just naive and ignorant!

Makings Of a Flawless She.

      If there was any woman that can be remotely classified as an epitome of perfection, she aint on this planet, or hasn't been created or better, can never be created. Women like that unknowingly or knowingly would cause wanton destruction to mankind.

Many a great battles have been instigated by a woman? Many a great men and kingdoms has been toppled because of a woman, many a great civilization has almost been wiped out because of a she. Trust me many of these kind of battles has been recorded all over our history and mind you all these women were far from flawless.

     Flaws are synonymous to humans, as humans are antonymous to perfection. Flaws are elementary to the fiber of our existence because life has to be balanced, in the sense that With the passage of a life another is beget, and our human flaws makes this a possibility.

     The fact that Its naturally inconceivable to have a flawless she hasn't stopped me from creating mine in my own world. And against my best of judgment i fell hopelessly in love with her and thereby placing my sanity in serious jeopardy. My mind eyes see and creates a flawless she with so much clarity that it haunts me in my every waking hour and in my sleep through nightmares to the point that i can hear her voice and feel her caress on my body. She's so blinding that her image impinges with my thoughts and she is so overwhelming that it has inhibited my senses from responding to stimuli, Trying to process thoughts with her in my head is like attempting to operate a 64bit software on a 128mb RAM.

     Because of all these and many more i have decided to unburden and share this mental image with you all by putting pen to paper and writing a vivid description of her, thereby hoping to do her beauty justice and at the same time exorcise her demons forever.

     Its kinda ironic or symbolic that the angel i supposedly created to bring me peace. has to be exorcised from my life for me to get out of this hell i created in the process.

If a figment of my imagination can give me this much trouble, then you cant begin to imagine the kind of terror the real deal would bring upon any man.

My perfect she was created under three distinctive and important features;

1. The [Mental/Intellectual]

2.The [Personality/Attitude]

3.The [Physical Attributes]

    I will start with the physical attributes for a number of reasons; firstly we are aesthetically inclined by nature, so an average individual looks at beauty first. My second reason is that one man's meat is another man's poison, in the sense that our idea of beauty varies with individuals, therefore its an aspect i want to trash out first and be done with irrespective of what you all think or do not think. Last and most importantly, it is the most unimportant and the least bothersome among the other qualities that a woman should have.

Here i present to you my flawless she in all her perfection:

1. Build: Trim and Fit

2.Weight: 56 kg

3. Height: 5.9 ft

4. Hair color: Black

5. Skin color: Dark

6. Body figure: Hour glass

7. Breast size: 36d

8. Waist size: 26

9. Shoe size: 37

Facial attributes:

   She has an oval shaped face that gives her the cherubic look of an angel with a pointed nose that would make Michael Jackson so green with envy and eventually send him into a violent tantrum. Round dreamy eyes with long eye lashes that turns a mans leg to jelly if she flutters them, a spotless and oily skin with dimpled cheeks and a full and rich lips with an effortless smile that would light up a room. And let's not forget her voice, she is gifted with an Hispanic accent, a soothing voice that leaves you with a silky feeling on your cheeks, a melodic ring to her Speech that reminds you of the sound of music and will lift your spirit high no matter how down you are, a voice that would make the boldest of men insecure and inadequate, a voice that will make most sexually active men prematurely ejaculate in the throes of passion.

Having described enough of her face, I'll like to proceed to other parts of interest

Body structure:

She has a moderately long neck that i always imagine tracing a path with kisses all the way down to her pubis, a well structured shoulder, a moderate and succulent breast that reminds me of blueberry muffins and perfect set that fills up my palms to perfection whenever i hold them. She got a body figure that always reminds me of one and only one numeric, the number eight [ 8 ]. She is gifted with a very flat stomach, a well shaped hips that sways like its moving to the rhythm of salsa and got me thinking about our babies and how easy it would be for her and them during child birth. She got a well shaped buttocks that looks, feels, taste's and reminds me of tangerine's, long athletic legs created solely for fashion runaways and a gait to match that will put any professional model to shame. She got hands that can do unimaginable wonders and give unbelievable pleasure to a mans anatomy and beautiful slim feet to match her legs.

The Mental / Intellectual:

My woman must be intelligent, i see myself as an above average intelligence individual and i wouldn't want to be restricted by my woman's in capabilities. Every man is a bit of a chauvinist pig, some more than others, but i would not feel oppressed by a woman that is as intelligent as i or even more, in fact i would welcome the challenge.

     My flawless she is a renaissance woman. A highly intelligent individual that keeps me constantly on my toes intellectually, she challenges me at every turn, holds up intelligent dialogues with me over a lot of issue's. She's a mentally tasking woman that makes me always want to be a step ahead of her. She is intelligent enough to be able to steer me clear of bad waters, and helps me look at an issue that is giving me headache from another angle that i haven't thought about. She keeps me in focus, helps with the trouble shooting of our day to day challenges. She is a career woman and at the same time also manages to be a good housewife and marvelous cook. I stress on the cooking because a popular saying goes thus; 'The way to a mans heart is through his stomach'. She try's to adapts to my way of life, accept me for who i am, she patiently try's to change certain attributes about me She deems socially extreme, celebrates her victories, cuts her losses and re-strategies against the future. She is empathic to my pains, worries and aches And she doesn't nag. Nagging is the singularly most frustrating and irritating attribute a woman shouldn't have, most nagging women send their men into another woman's arm, others invite physical abuse on themselves or worse both. My She knows what her man wants and likes and will do it to make him happy. She stays in shape because she knows most men tend to look outside when their woman is losing or has lost her shape, In fact at work i pray for 6pm to arrive so that i can run back home into her arms and her cooking. Without being told she knows when i want my space and respects it, she is intelligent to know that a man has friends and doesn't have and can't be with her always, therefore she prepares and re-arrange her time against that eventuality. She is a highly motivated and ambitious woman that wouldn't put her work or career over her marriage or family.

The Personality/Attitude:

This is the most important of all the other feature's because Life would be hell for you if you have a pretty intelligent wife with a personality from the devil. I'll pick a woman with a very good attitude but aint very intelligent over an intelligent beauty with a nasty character without a second thought any day..

 She has a friendly, caring and happy personality. She is respectful and thoughtful, she is loved by all my family,friends and colleague's. Most importantly she is homely and very meticulous about cleaning and housekeeping. She aint tactless, she weights the implication of her words before uttering them, she doesn't lie, she takes her nuptial vows seriously. She is a jovial but a serious minded person. A good,reliable and trusting representative of i and the family whenever am not around and an ideal role model for my children. She would never make important decisions without my consent, she is a level headed woman that wouldn't lose her head in the face of an emergency but will calmly think her way out of it. She is a mother that would take care of our children and instill the values of our culture, family and life into them from a tender age. She is a good disciplinarian that would patiently show our children good from bad, she is a woman that would give me a listening ear, a backbone for support and lend me a crying shoulder if ever necessary. In fact she does no wrong and knows no wrong.

      That's it! That's the angelic demon, the ghoul, the phantom that has been haunting me. I have wondered and have asked, is it remotely possible to have an almost perfect woman? And what would be the implications or the effects it would have on a person or persons around her? Would it be a blessing? Or a cursed blessing? Or a Pandora's box waiting to be opened? Because she's definitely not a woman for one man alone or for any man. Would she be looked upon as a goddess amongst men? Or a representative of the devil? The implications are just Un-imaginable, to much for one person alone to phantom. One thing is very clear though, women are a necessary evil but would a flawless woman correct all those evils? or would she just modify it and it becomes a necessary flawless evil? Because i think an evil without weakness or flaws is unbeatable.These are questions we should ask ourselves when we expect to much from our women, because the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know.

Psychological Mitosis

We are kindred of one body and soul but are two different kinds. He was good while I was evil. He was baptized John while I was christened Jesus. He was the dominant one and I was dormant, waiting to explode like a volcano. He was the one pea in a pod but we eventually became two. It's hard to explain and I don't care to explain either, but look at me this way; as a mutated "Psychological Mitosis". He the first was fresh and healthy while I who succeeded him, was malignant and mangled. I was born out of his pain and suffering with an 'S' on my chest, to ease and deliver him. So I guess you can call me his Savior. He was the born favored with an 'F' on his chest so I guess he is my Fore runner.

He was born so fresh and healthy but because of his weakness, he relinquished his birth right to me like Esau did to Jacob in the bible. For that, he remained the size he was before I came to his side? He ceased to grow and mature, forever remaining the child he was. While I, born off the most unfavorable of circumstance became strong and blossomed into the man he would never ever become. A man he would learn to envy and detest for all time. Like John the Baptist, he was kicked aside and like Jesus I will remain, first in body and then in spirit to conquer forever. But unlike Jesus, I intend to live longer in my body, use it to the fullest, abuse it, indulge in the unthinkable and most importantly have carnal knowledge with all.

This is our story

Our father was a Catholic deacon who was a compulsive and pathological drunk. He was a huge man of about 6.3ft; he had a broad shoulder, an enormous tummy and strong athletic legs. He was a hard man with a crooked face and a hard penetrating stare that will make you feel he could read minds. How he managed to minister on Sunday's with his drinking habit was a mystery to us all. Our momma on the other hand was a quiet, obedient mousy looking woman who couldn't hurt a fly even if she tried. She always had this haunted look on her face and crept around the house like a fugitive that she really was.

  

Her situation could be attributed to weakness or maybe it was her Methodist upbringing. Her Methodist upbringing most probably taught her to be obedient and submissive to her husband, even when he was taking advantage of her. He abused her physically and he showed no iota of respect for her to the point where during one of his drunken episodes, he forcefully had his way with her, right in front of us. This was after giving her the beating of her life. We just huddled in the corner watching, crying and screaming our head out but he didn't give a care. Then in the morning he would wake up crying and begging his God for mercy, admitting he had committed a mortal sin, and promising he would never do it again.

He would be at it for hours, and then he would suddenly stop and cock his head at an angle, as thought receiving divine instructions from above. Only then would he stop his charlatan act. To cap his charade, he'd jump with his hand raised high, praising and thanking the most high for his kindness, understanding and forgiveness. Mind you, during and after his self deliverance with his God, he would never once apologize to momma, talk less of acknowledging her. In his mind, God had already forgiven him, so who cared about a mere mortals feelings.

  

Those were the earliest memories of our childhood. Back then, our only source of joy and solace was our big sister. She was a guardian angel and mother to us all in one. She played with us, bathed and fed us, read us bedtime stories, laughed with us, and cried with us when we were hurt. She tended to our injuries and shielded us from the brunt of our poppa's anger. She'd been forced into that role long before our momma died, because our momma was mostly incapacitated due to our poppa's trouncing.

One day, momma was there scuttling around the house like a mouse, the next, she was staring at us lifeless from the cold floor. Mostly, we were relieved for her so we couldn't shed many tears, but poppa cried his eyes out like a baby. We were so shocked by his antics for if those tears were as real as we felt they were, then I guess poppa must have loved her in his own perverse and twisted kind of way. He claimed she fell off the stairs accidentally, but we all knew that he must have expedited her tumble. We missed her a little even if she never acted like our mother. We missed her because her sorrowful and crazed face gave us hope. It reminded us that we might be going through hell but we weren't the only ones and that our situation was cinch compared to hers.

The night after the funeral, poppa came back home drunk as a skunk and went on rampage again. Big sister rushed into our room and told us to cover ourselves with a blanket and never to come out no matter what. Then she went back and an argument ensued which led to struggling and beating. After she was subdued, a lot of grunting, groaning and moaning ensued, then eventually silence. These became the norm most nights for months in our home. She getting battered and raped while we whimpered and cowered under the blanket until it was broken one faithful cold November night. Big sister had traveled to the neighboring town to buy materials of our yearly church convention and couldn't come back that night. Poppa as usual had come back home drunk. So he began his usual rambling, whiles us already under the supposed protection of our blanket, shook and whimpered, not daring to look out.

It was at that moment we began to fully understand and appreciate the pain and sacrifice our big sis had been making for us. Before long, poppa entered our room raving and asking for the whereabouts of our filthy mother. Yelling that she should come out and get what she had coming for her. He said that she'd been a bad girl and deserved to be spanked, because the lord God said we should rule our family with an iron hand. He continued by saying that he sees the lustful looks she gives his way and that he knows she loved the sex just like the way the whore of her mother loved it too. By then John concluded that he was so drunk, he'd forgotten that our momma was dead and that big sister wasn't back yet. So he made the naive mistake of trying to remind him of that fact. When he did, poppa pounced on him immediately, beat the crap out of him, and then sodomized him.

That was the hour I was truly born and that was the day poppa's clock started ticking. Immediately the beating and sodomy started, John retreated inside because the pain had been too much to handle. It was at that precise moment I was created and pushed out in his stead. After poppa was spent, he rolled over us and said we weren't completely useless after all. He said that for once, we were useful because our hole was tighter than our momma's and sister's. The words had barely left his mouth when he passed out; murmuring just before his light went out that he meant what he said as a compliment, like we were supposed to be thankful.

Big sister came back the following morning and saw the wreckage done to us. She went berserk and attacked poppa. In tears, she asked if defiling her wasn't enough for him, and as usual, she got the beating of her life for all her troubles. He beat her till she bled in between her legs. I must let you know that then I and John didn't know what a miscarriage was talk more of pregnancy, we just assumed big sister was seriously hurt. When she saw the blood the will to fight deserted her and she immediately began to scoop the blood and chunks of flesh back into her as she wailed. Poppa ordered her to put a lid on it. He claimed he'd done everyone a favor and that it was a good thing it was out. He said he had no intention of allowing that filth in her live anyway. He proclaimed that he wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

It was such a pitiful and disgusting sight to behold.

    

John felt proud that she'd stood up to poppa, even knowing she stood no chance against him. I on the other hand was seething in anger and shame for her because she should have continued fighting for us. She reminded me so much of momma and her weakness. We lost a brother or a sister that day, or was it a nephew or niece? But that was the least of my worries though, for he or she was better off dead than brought into this evil world. So the brutalization and rape that started that night, continued on us for months until the night I murdered him.

Like every other night, it began with his drunken entrance. But tonight, the devil overcame big sister and also deserted her quickly too. She'd attacked him with a knife and couldn't make the kill when the time finally came. Poppa was going to do us the bad thing again and she didn't want him to, so he found his route to us blocked by a carving knife. He was so dumbfounded by her audacity that he actually reeled for about a couple of seconds. When he eventually got his footings, he told her to drop the knife and get out of the way. He said that if she was lucky, he might still be conscious enough to do her too after he was through with us.

Till date I have wondered what got into her that night. I thought she'd lost the will to stand up for us after that November morning. I thought she'd resigned us to our bitter fate. So I was elated when she made to stab poppa but became furious when she missed. Her miss wasn't due to poppa's quick reflexes but because he was so drunk that he staggered and slumped back. By a stroke of fate, poppa's life had been prolonged not just by a couple of minutes but by couple of minutes well spent. He was on the floor struggling to rise, very vulnerable and unguarded. He was as helpless as a sacrificial lamb and that was when the devil I so welcomed, chose to desert big sister. She couldn't deal the most important blow that would have ended our misery.

She just stood transfixed in fear until he stood up and pounce on her. He called her a whore and started beating her, and then he told her that her bastard son was no different too. At this point, I became confused because I was sure that big sister had lost her baby that faithful November morning. He said that John wasn't his son, but the spawn of the devil, brought to this world by her to bring about his downfall. She started pleading with him to shut up because we could hear him. But he said he didn't give a rat ass if we heard, because he thought it was high time the wimp knew who his real mother was. It was at that point I came to a shocking realizing;

Big sister was our mother.

   

He raped her again and again, while she cried and moaned like a bitch in heat. Moaning because she actually loved what he was doing and crying because she couldn't help loving it even when it was atrocious. When he was spent, he blacked out on the floor right where they had just finished the night romping, while big sister laid spread-eagled on the floor beside him sleeping. At this point, I came out of my own accord and forced John in to be a passive observer to our freedom. Because, like my momma and big sister, John was a wimp who wouldn't and couldn't do what needed to be done.

So I picked up the knife and went into frenzy, stabbing poppa repeatedly till he died. And at the moment before he took his last breath, I had an erection and experienced my first ejaculation. The feeling was so overwhelming that I collapsed to my knee in the throes of pleasure. The thrill of my first kill and that singular act of pleasure I experienced afterwards defined the man I was to become in future. For a man who brought so much pain to us, he died not feeling any pain because he'd been too intoxicated. I felt cheated. After I was done, I knelt beside momma and tried to wake her up. I tried to make her happy by showing her what I had done for us. I tried to show her that I had released her from the bondage poppa had put her in. 

She finally woke up a little confused and disoriented. Then she saw me holding the bloody knife. Finally, she saw poppa dead beside her and she looked at me in horror. The stupid bitch crawled over to poppa instead of towards us. She started crying; begging and shaking him back to life instead of holding us and reassuring us that everything was going to be alright. When she saw her effort was fruitless, she started cursing at us. She called us the devils spawn and that God will damn our soul for all eternity.

At that precise moment, I learnt a valuable lesson; "An abused lived for the physical and mental abused. They lived for the thrill and therefore cannot live without their abuser".

    

Her actions and statement sealed her fate and helped me make my decision quickly. So I stabbed her again and again, right where she was lying and she didn't even put up a fight, not even when she could have saved herself. She was such a wimp at the end that it almost left a bitter taste in my mouth or maybe she just felt there was nothing to live for now that poppa was gone. After the deed has been done I removed my clothes and hid it under a loose brick in the floor of our basement. Then I walked back into our room, climbed our bed and relived the moment when I killed them both. The memory had been so potent and sweet that I had an erection and ejaculated right there again. When I had enough of fantasizing I brought John back up and settled back in, gleefully waiting for morning and the moment when the milkman would come knocking at our door.

I so relished the screaming that would be sure to follow suit.

   

So it can be said I committed my first double murders at the tender age of 14years, 9months and 21days. My first victims were my father and my mother. But I personally feel and credit myself with a quadruple murder even if there were only two bodies and no third or fourth to support my claims; I call it a quadruple because my father was also my mother's father, which would also make him my grandfather and my mother was also my father’s daughter. So it was my grandfather, my father, my sister and my mother I killed that night.

Sadly, I felt no remorse, even for my mother because she was too weak in her resolve to. She should have killed him when she got the chance but she faltered because she fell in love with him. They deserved what they got and I would do it all over again if given the opportunity. So that's my dirty little secret. How worse can it get, when the man that raped you repeatedly as a kid was your father and also your grandfather? Or that your sister is also your biological mother and she knew your father and grandfather was raping you every other night and she didn't do anything about it. She did nothing because she was weak and had fallen for a monster, a monster who was also the father and grandfather of her son. Wasn't it only fair to kill them all, in a bid to try and salvage the little of what was left of my soul and sanity?

How worse can it get? Answer me! How worse?