Rounin

"The Way is in a higher place than righteousness. This is very difficult to discover, but it is the highest wisdom. When seen from this standpoint, things like righteousness are rather shallow"

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It would be naive to deny that many a great Sensei, who has offered to teach the meaning of the true ways of a Samurai, have failed to impart its most intricate lessons. Likewise, it would be ludicrous to accept that the true ways isn't a lesson, most probably, if not suitably learnt through self realization, then death. It is said that there are many paths to this realization, but only one metaphorical mountain which represents the ultimate truth. For this reason, I will state that the truth as I have always perceived it to be is that there shall always be many conjectural truths, but by changing the position through which you perceive this idea of truth, you might be able to successfully discard the prevarications and thus pave way for the one truth.

So I propose that for this journey you are about to embark on with me, you should shed your mental shackles and accustomed beliefs surrounding your idea of the truth. Hopefully, when you let go of that idea, you'd simply be faced with and be with what is, what could have been and what may be. Only then can you begin to detect the quiet voice of the heart, for it is the path of the heart which leads us to our most precious truth. Deny your heart its voice, and deny yourself redemption. Fail to follow where your heart leads, and you'd surely plunder unto the path of Seppuku.

"There is a method to getting to this Way, however, even if one cannot discover it by himself. This is found in consultation with others"

Heed, for I speak not mere words plucked from yon, but wise words sired from what my very eyes have beheld. I speak not from the comfort of an embracing arm or a warm cot, but from a faraway, unknown and desolate plane. I speak not from under the soothing bright morn but from the deepest and darkest crevices of every Samurai's heart. I speak, for there is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the present moment. I speak, for a Samurai's life is a succession of moments, therefore there will be nothing else to do, nothing else to pursue and nothing else to live for. I speak, for the path of the heart and of the Samurai, are but one. I speak, for our journey begins now.

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"The Way of the Samurai is found in death. When it comes to either/or, there is only the quick choice of death. It is not particularly difficult. Be determined and advance. To say that dying without reaching one's aim is to die a dog's death is the frivolous way of sophisticates. When pressed with the choice of life or death, it is not necessary to gain one's aim"

It is the year 1556AD and the feudal war which had been raging for years, was at its end. In this war, the elite members of the military aristocracy had given their lives for the greater good. I Toyotomi Musashi was one of such, a proud Samurai from the Hideyoshi clan; a revered member of a clan that had risen like a phoenix from the ashes of its very inglorious past. For months, I left my pregnant wife and during this time, I helped vanquish the usurpers and thus brought honor to my family name.

When the war ended, I rode hard for days till I arrived atop the hill bordering my village. When I set sight upon my beloved village from above, my breath seized, for the sight which beheld me was but peaceful and refreshing. During the war, the thought of my village was all that had kept me alive. The thought of the honor that would be bestowed upon my clan, had given me the will to fight when my resolve faltered. Finally, the thought of returning to my wife's loving embrace had kept me warm during the cold nights.

Two hours later, I was seated on the floor of the Dojo, lovingly stroking my beautiful wife's hair. It was a bright afternoon, but all I saw were the blurred outlines of the Dojo's walls and door. It was a noisy afternoon, buzzing with the annoying and persistent sound of the ravaging flies, but all I heard were the torrid rush of blood coursing through my veins, and the unsteady rhythm of my heartbeat.

"Bushido is realized in the presence of death. This means choosing death whenever there is a choice between life and death. There is no other reasoning."

Death had found my people through the most cruel, barbaric and senseless of butcheries, and as I grieved, the memories of my beloved wife flittered through my mind. The sweet memories of the first day I'd met her, and the exotic emotions she'd roused in me, threatened to derail my faculties. That day, I'd been training in this same Dojo when I'd looked out the window and was beheld by the most gracious of sights. At that moment, I knew I was in love, for no woman had ever captivated me the way she had.

I remembered that her eyes were of the palest green, like the precious Emerald; her lips which were of the deepest red, had glittered under the beams of the sunlight like polished Ruby; her hair which flowed down her waist, were as black as an ornamental Jet. I remembered how the exotic fragrance she'd worn that day smelt like Lilies in the summer. I remembered how her melodic voice which was akin to those of a Nightingale had made the butterflies in my belly flutter. I remembered how time had frozen when she suddenly turned towards me and smiled. That was the day it all began; that was the day I found a new purpose to life.

"For a warrior, there is nothing other than thinking of his master. If one creates this resolution within himself, he will always be mindful of his master's person and will not depart from him, even for a moment".

I looked down at her unmoving body, and unsheathed my Tantō. As my Tantō's thin steel casted reams of light that danced on the walls, I slowly came to realize that I was now a Rounin, a Samurai without a master; one stripped off his honor. Now the only path for me to follow is that of my master's, for I was a warrior now deprived of the very essence of living. I was a warrior without a purpose, so I turned the Tantō on myself, in an attempt to force an honorable death.

But an overwhelming emotion arrested my will. That biting and insuppressible feeling to right a wrong hammered at my conscience. That unquenchable hunger for blood raged in my heart. That emotion was vengeance and my body quivered uncontrollably for it. I sought vengeance even though I knew I wouldn't survive it. I sought vengeance even though I knew I'll most definitely fail in my attempt. I sought vengeance because only then can my honor be redeemed. I sought vengeance for in my sight, it was only then I would be deemed worthy to die honorably.

"There is nothing more urgent as the desire for revenge, when real or perceived injury has been done to oneself or one's community, and there is nothing as sweet as the angry pleasure it gives once enacted".

So I rose to avenge my people, but not before all the dead was properly buried. For days, I dug their graves in the biting cold. For days, I cried and bled, but not once did I falter, not once did my conviction waver. Not once did I stop, for whenever my efforts seem to lag, I remembered that vengeance was mine. When all the dead were finally buried, I departed my village and home, never looking back; never to return again.

For weeks, I scoured the countryside in search of answers, and eventually found them in the terrifying whispers of the commoners. There were silent whispers of a small army of Rounin that were now being commandeered by an Oni, a legendary ogre-like demon from the very depths of Yomi-no-kuni. According to the whispers, this demon that donned a tiger loincloth and carried a Kanabo, possessed three eyes, several fingers and toes, razor sharp claws and two horns. It was said to be an indestructible and undefeatable demon; it was said to be the end for any who dared cross its path.

"Even if it seems certain that you will lose, retaliate. Neither wisdom nor technique has a place in this".

My heart palpitated with two very conflicting yet similar emotions, namely, fear and excitement. My body tingled with determination and energy, while my soul screamed for blood and action. But I observed caution, for only fools rushed into where angels feared to tread. First I made sure there was any shred of substance to these whispers, before I began to track their trail of blood, till one night when I came upon the camp of a smaller unit of twenty Rounin, whom I brazenly attacked.

Before they could draw their Katana's, three of their comrades were already down. Before they could overcome their shock, two more had joined the dead in the afterlife. Soon a great battle raged and we were enveloped in complete darkness as their camp fire was extinguished in the foray. As we fought blindly, all that we depended on were our senses, instincts and guts. All that were seen were fiery sparks as steel struck steel. All that could be heard were the clashes of Katanas, the grunts of warriors and the screams of the dying.

"If a warrior is not unattached to life and death, he will be of no use whatsoever. The saying that "All abilities come from one mind" sounds as though it has to do with sentient matters, but it is in fact a matter of being unattached to life and death. With such non-attachment one can accomplish any feat."

After one long hour, the battlefield was finally silent, save for my heavy breathing. I stood victorious, but despite my unimaginable accomplishment, I was left with a bitter taste of dissatisfaction. Killing the Oni was the only way I'd feel satisfied, and I knew facing it may spell my doom, but I cared less because I was driven by the flames of vengeance. I feared not for I was ready to bring fire down on earth. I worried not because I would gladly shatter the gate of Yomi-no-kuni just to get my vengeance.

That night, I slept under the sparkling stars, and dreamt of terrible things better not whispered in the dark. In the morning, I woke up an angry man for the Oni dared taunt me by invading my nightly sanctum. I woke up a sad man for it showed me how my master and wife burned within the walls of Yomi-no-kuni. I woke up a haunted man, for I knew I would find no peace till I killed it. I woke up a terrified man, for I now knew that the Oni's dark powers were by far stronger than I imagined.

"There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you will still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everything."

As each battle and victory passed, its visitations in my dreams became more frequent, intense and torturous. I began to dread sleeping; I became a warrior tethering on the brink of insanity. But I knew that with each battle I fought, I drew closer to the Oni. With each victory I earned, I could feel the stench of its corruption. It was only a matter of time, soon vengeance would be mine. Soon I would be faced with my worst nightmare. Soon I would be one with my inevitable death, for it was a fate I have come to embrace.

For months I waged a war against an unseen enemy and slew hundreds of its underlings. For months I travelled through strange lands never heard of before, and a time came when I was lost, but the will to avenge my people carried me on. Then a day came when I was weak with thirst in a desert of extensive and perilous proportion. But just when I thought I'd gotten to the end of my resolve, a strange mountain blanketed in sulphuric esters, mysteriously manifested before my path. When I laid eyes upon its terrifying features and felt the malignant aura it emitted, I knew I had finally stumbled upon the Oni's lair.

A dark cave leading deep into the earth's core was revealed to me at the foot of the mountain. Its gaping entrance was like a scorching chasm of corruption, but I plunged into its thick and black nothingness with reckless abandon. The cave's darkness was choking; its silence was unnerving. No form of natural light had ever penetrated this cave, and for a time, I stumbled blindly with just my instinct and guts as guidance. With each passing hour, the darkness became less dense and intimidating, and after a time, I came upon a great hall with walls fashioned out of fire and blood.

At the end of the hall was an abominable throne constructed from the bones and teeth of the dead, and seated upon it was a great monstrosity like never before seen. The Oni was like the rumors whispered, only worse and more obscene. From its throne, its eyes roved over me as only a predator's would. It gave me a knowing look that said it knew my innermost fears. Its face glowed with an evil smirk that dared me to attack. Its eyes danced with mockery which insinuated that I wouldn't dare attack.

An anguished howl escaped me as all my bottled up emotions erupted into a destructive fury. When I could take it no more, I charged the Oni, for I'd resolved that if this was going to be my end, I'd meet it with honor. I'd accepted that if I died at its hands, I would have honorably fulfilled the requirements of Bushida. So I whispered a cursory prayer for my soul and powerfully swung at its massive head, but just before my blade struck, the strangest thing occurred. Time froze and I was left suspended in mid air, and at the mercies of the Oni who looked into my eyes as it opened its maggot infest mouth in a horrid grin.

It was as though a million blades had pierced my soul as his eyes connected with mine. It was as though my soul had been shredded to pieces, for the pain I'd felt was far beyond the scope of any human tolerance. Despite the pain, I struggled to break free but it was to no avail. Then the Oni exploded into a rancorous laughter before it began to slowly stretch its hand towards me; when its finger made contact with my head, a searing pain accompanied with a blinding light assaulted my head, before I was flung across the hall, where I collapsed into a fitful trance.

In the trance, I was made privy to things beyond my scope of comprehension. In the trance, I'd glimpsed my wife living and breathing; I'd glimpsed my two year old son playing in the sand domes of our ancestors. In the trance I'd glimpsed my master in his Dojo training the new recruits; I'd glimpsed my village, happy and thriving. I'd glimpsed two years into time on the battlefield, right before I fell to an enemy's Katana; right before I had whispered my wife's name for the last time

"It is said that what is called "the spirit of an age" is something to which one cannot return. That this spirit gradually dissipates is due to the world's coming to an end. For this reason, although one would like to change today's world back to the spirit of one hundred years or more ago, it cannot be done. Thus it is important to make the best out of every generation."

At that moment it was made known that my soul which had passed on towards the beyond, had chosen a path that led me into the pits of Yomi-no-kuni. It was also revealed that if I had not plundered on the path of revenge, my soul would have headed for a better place. At that moment, all was revealed and made clearer but I wondered if this wasn't another of the Oni's dark trickery; I wondered if all I'd glimpsed were remotely true. I wondered if the choices I made were really my very undoing.

"This is the substance of the Way of the Samurai: if by setting one's heart right every morning and evening, one is able to live as though his body were already dead, he gains freedom in the Way".

When I finally opened my eyes again, I found myself curled up in a fetal position, so I sat up, picked up my Katana, and was again met by the Oni's penetrating gaze. I tried to rise but was pinned down by its gaze. All attempts to look away proved abortive; all attempts to fight its whim, proved futile. After what seemed like an eternity, it beckoned with his finger and my legs began to move towards it against my will. At that point, I realized that I was now completely under its control; at that moment I realized that my soul was his, and thus doomed. So I began to wonder if the actions which had led me to this point had been worth it. I began to wonder what the truth was, for there were now too many truths presented before me. I began to ask myself if I would have plundered on this same path of vengeance, if given a second chance.

When I searched deep in my heart for the answer to that question, I smiled at what I saw. I smiled because it didn't matter, whether I was alive or dead; it didn't matter if I believed or not. I realized that all that mattered was the honor of my clan and master which had been restored. I believed that this was the only way; this was surely the true ways of the Samurai. At that moment, I knew that if I was given a second chance, I would still have gladly plundered down this same route of vengeance.

                                                      

Irrespective of the truth, I would still have sought vengeance, for when I follow my heart I work my craft and the concept of time disappears utterly, because the path of the samurai is the path of the heart. When I follow my heart, I follow my passion. When I follow my passion, I follow my excitement. When I follow my excitement, I become spiritually invigorated. So with the last will and resolve bestowed upon me by my ancestors, I lifted my Katana, looked into the jeering eyes of the Oni and charged at it one final time.

  

"A real man does not think of victory or defeat. He plunges recklessly towards an irrational death.  By doing this, you will awaken from your dreams."

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N.B - All the quotes used in this story was lifted from a warrior's spiritual guide book titled The Hagakure, and the writings were drawn from a collection of commentaries by Yamamoto Tsunetomo.